because I’m a glutton for punishment or something, anyway I’ve recapped the whole thing below JUST IN CASE YOU MISSED IT!
Caught driving with over 3 times the legal blood alcohol limit! LOL - you won’t believe how drunk he is!!! Jesus Christ he was drunk.
ASYLUM SEEKERS LIVING IT UP IN DETENTION CENTRE IN SOME TOWN WHILE NEARBY AUSSIE BATTLERS/TRUE BLUE/TAXPAYERS/DIGGERS STRUUUUUGGLE!
Holy shit this one was something else… THEY HAVE BIG FLAT SCREEN T.V’S IN THERE! Featuring an interview with a fat bogan local who thinks it’s ‘Just ridiculous’ because the
terrorists detention seekers all get basic human rights like food and education and SOMETIMES THEY ARE ALLOWED TO GO ON A DAY TRIP TO THE LOCAL SWIMMING POOL while hardworking taxpaying locals are stuck inside paying taxes all day! SO UNFAIR!
OH NO TEENAGERS ARE DRINKING TO MUCH AND BEING ROWDY!!
BIG SHOCK to everyone who has never been a teenager. Cut to footage of the cops arresting some dumbass on Brunswick St. Fitzroy in front of Polyester Records but hey all publicity is good publicity WAT UP POLYESTER RECORDS!
LOCAL BUTCHERS HAVE DISCOVERED THE INTERNET!! BUY MEAT ONLINE AND SAVE $$$
Just be careful not to be so star struck by the per kg price that you DON’T NOTICE THE DELIVERY COSTS! Ugh, duh ACA. Whatever, fucking sausages, who cares.
SOMETHING ABOUT SUPERANUATION!!!
You might be a billionaire or something you don’t even know! Lost super from when you worked at maccas and OH NOE it’s gone now cos of fees dummy, go find your lost super!
REALITY T.V STAR AND HER ‘BIGGEST’ CHALLENGE EVER…
(omg wat isit?) Dun dun dunnnnnnn.. To save her life!!! They said biggest because she is really big (FAT!) Then they used words like ‘Huge’ ‘Massive’ ‘Enormous’ to describe other stuff during the story but DOUBLE MEANINGS etc. brilliant stuff ACA. Ohp, lookout DIRECT QUOTE that she actually said: "… and then you know, you just end up being 180kg one day’ … NO YOU DON’T JESUS CHRIST THAT’S HUGE YOU DON’T ‘JUST END UP’ THAT BIG ALL OF A SUDDEN. Ugh, anyway, whatever. Fat people. They did have Adro from biggest loser on for this bit and he looks GREAT! Top work bloke.
Coming up tomorrow night!!! - NO MORE CASH AND CARDS! CHANGE THE WAY YOU PAY FOR SHIT! Use your mobile phone to pay for everything because that kind of technology definitely won’t ever get hacked it’s PERFECTLY SAFE so jump on board sheeple!